Hum Eleven-handbag essentials, just in case Ms Monk is right

Note: This is not in any way, based on any one person, or anyone's comments. Much. (SORRY AMY!)

A lighter note: It is in good taste. Well, sort of.

Once upon a grey day, there lived a little old woman called Yuko-Amelia. Yuko-Amelia was a good drawer and spent her days playing hand games with her beautiful pet fish. One day, Yuko-Amelia ran out of fish food! So she went to the mall. While she was there, she stocked up her already bulging handbag. This is what Ms Yuko-Amelia put in her handbag.

• One can of sardines, just in case her fish turned cannibal, or if she ever got a cat.
• One pocket dictionary, for if she forgot what "enchilada" meant.
• Three blind mice, just because.
• Robitussin, because she often coughed at night.
• Cat biscuits wrapped up in tinfoil, in case she ever got lost in the bush and met a poor kitty.
• A pencil and paper, for if she ever got bored waiting at the doctor's surgery.
• A photo of all her fish, because she feared she would never see them again.
• An umbrella, for when it rained cats and dogs.
• A plastic bag, in case it rained fish too.
• A packet of tissues, to pull out and wipe dirt off her grandchildren's noses with.
• Knitting needles, to stab those little vandals who graffitied her letterbox.
• Sunglasses and a wig, a disguise for if she got caught stabbing them.

And lastly,

• All of her friends or her freinds, in case she got lonely on the desert island with the kitty cat.

This post is dedicated to Amy!

LOTS OF LOVE AMY! xxx